DRUGSTORE CULTURE turns plastic for Mean Girls day
03 October 2018 13:48
It’s Wednesday October 3rd. On Wednesdays, we wear pink. Missed the memo? Then get off our website, fat ass.
Here at DRUGSTORE CULTURE, we obviously adhere to, like, the rules of feminism with vigour, so if you break the rules, I’m afraid you’re out. One time, I foolishly wore grey on a Wednesday and I was forced to aimlessly browse social media all day instead of contributing to this site. So yeah, you get the idea.
And you know I’m not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? When I first joined the DRUGSTORE CULTURE team, Matthew d’Ancona told me hoop earrings were his thing. It’s so sad. But don’t tell him I told you that.
You see, the reason my hair is so big is because it’s full of secrets. I’ll let you in on one: we keep a Burn Book. It’s where we look at the day’s cultural happenings, and then we write comments. Theresa May: a major cause of the crises facing her party and country. Jeremy Corbyn: still not good enough. Boris Johnson: I have this theory, that if you cut off all his hair, he’d look like a British man.
To be honest, I wish we could all just get along like we used to in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles, and everyone would eat and be happy. But that’s not the real world, biatch.
There’s one thing that does make me feel better though, a little bit of retail therapy. Get in, loser. We’re going shopping.